*Avis sur le bilinguisme. Parce que je suis à Montréal, au centre de l'île, que j'évolue dans un milieu bilingue et que je suis seule dans mon entreprise, tous les textes ne seront pas publiés immédiatement dans les deux langues, la traduction suivra, mais je présume que la plupart d'entre vous comprenez les deux langues. Si vous souhaitez la traduction d'un texte plus rapidement, n'hésitez pas à me contacter.
Becoming a parent is a huge change in our life. We try to prepare but as we hear a lot, we are never ready…and it’s true, because nothing is as we think it would be. Even pregnancy rarely goes as plan. I am sure you are thinking about lots of example right now. I had to be on bed rest 2 months before my due date because I started dilating and was told I would have a preemie… then my son was born 5 days after the due date. The long and hard labor I was told I would have turn out to be 3 hours because of that… don’t get me wrong, I am happy It didn’t take me 15 hours but I was not prepared for it. Then my son slept trough the night a 6 weeks, don’t be jealous too fast, that stoped eventually and my first daughter made up for it by not sleeping trough the night before 6 years old… so yes, my second child slept 10 complete nights for her first 6 years… another thing I wasn’t prepare for.
I can't keep up with it every day, sometimes I am too tired or preoccupied and kids are too… but then I know I wasn’t in line with my inner parent, I can apologies to them, and to myself, and put things back on track. And sometimes outside reality is making that extra hard and we must compromise our values to fit that reality and it’s hard, very hard and it hurts. But at least when we know that’s what’s happening we know why we feel bad or uncomfortable and we can put words on it. It’s still hard but knowing makes it a bit more livable. It’s also true for children but that’s a subject for another time. So whatever path we chose as a parent the hardest and the easiest way is to keep up with it. It’s what makes it bearable to sleep at night or get criticize as a parent by people around us (because yeah, that happens). Doing so takes courage and the ability to set aside and refuse some suggestions or informations and choose those around us (books, blog or real people) that we feel are telling the truth. Our truth.
And when we are not sure still, then looking in the future helps a lot. Would that mater in 2, 5, 10 years? Would this or that choice make my child a better human being? One that would have been raise with my values in mind? I have older kids (a tween and a teen) and a baby, that's helps so much to put things into perspective, but just having parents of older childs around us, some that have similar values, is incredibly rich and will do almost the same. Lots of things we think matter so much when they are little matter less and less when they grow up. And this is good news. We have room to learn and make our mistakes, as long as we apologize, realign with our parenting values and try to do better next time, we are good to go. We need to trust our parenting instinct. And that inner child who know how he would have wanted to be parent.